I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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