Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
