I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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