my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
