I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
