Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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