I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
