I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
