a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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