I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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