It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
