Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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