C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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