i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
