1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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