this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
