Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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