My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
