idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
