He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
