at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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