The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
