nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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