i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
