They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
