So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
