just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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