shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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