walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
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