ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I want her autograph on my taint
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
