I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
