i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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