i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
