dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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