I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize