This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
40s are totally the cure
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
