I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Church boner. Awkwardddd
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
