I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
