It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
