Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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