WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
try to milk me bitch
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