OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He? As in you personified your dick?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
