My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Randomize
