I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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