when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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