im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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