I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
