Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I have already put on my inside pants.
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