Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
