i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
