If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
