I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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