Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
