It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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