real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
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