Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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