I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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