Duck Duck Cougar?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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