I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
