If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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