got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
