So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
