So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
