'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
