I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
