Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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