Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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