I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
